What Do You See?

Look at the picture above.
What does it make you think of?


I was just surfing around on the internet the other night and accidentally came across this picture. 
It made me think of a song that I had written a while back,which I titled "Fast Lane"


"Fast Lane"


Life goes by so fast,

Like a car speeding down the road,
Leaving dust in its trail.
I’ve always wanted to grow up,
Take the fast lane for once,
Leave everything behind
Questions run through my head daily,
What do I do with my life,
How do I get there?
No one can say that they know all the answers,
Unless you have the answer key,
Which would be out of date not long after you picked it up.

Life goes by so fast,
We should all take sometime to think things through
Like a blurred image in a window,
Like the wind blowing in your face,
Don’t take life by the fast lane,
Life is not a race.

Everybody screws up in life,
No one is perfect, not even you.
Don’t try to win the race,
You know you never will.
Time is not worth fighting against
So take life by the wheel.

No one is watching so go ahead,
Take the wheel.
Make sure you have control,
Don’t give up just yet.
Step on the gas,
Hurry up , you’re almost there.
But don’t take life by the fast lane.

I really don't even remember why I wrote this song, its been about two years since I wrote it. But seeing that picture brought me back to this song. It made me think that sometimes in life, we need to let go of the past and just keep looking forward. 

We can;t let our pasts hold us back forever. As they say, "Your past is your past, its meant to be in the past."

And I vote that we should keep it that way.

In the past.

-JustMe-

P.S.- Feel free to comment, subscribe,follow,etc. I'd appreciate it:)

Bandaids & Smiley Faces

Have you ever had one of those moments where you just start smiling out of no where because of a memory that you were thinking of?

 I've been doing that quite often.

Like the other day, I was on my way home and was just sitting there thinking and a random childhood memory popped up into my head. 

And oddly enough, it was about smiley faces on bandaids. 

See, when I was younger, like years ago, I used to be really clumsy. I was always scrapping my elbows,knees, arm,,leg... what ever got in the way of what I wanted to do ended up getting scrapped cut or bruised, somehow. 

I guess most would consider it normal for young kids, but those memories still stick in my head. Antibiotic ointments and peroxide became my enemies and bandaids became my friends. 

I remember the first time that I was allowed to ride my bike out on gravel. I was so excited. I took off down the alley way, thinking in my head,"This is so cool!"

There are no words to describe the way that I felt those few moments that I was actually riding my bike down the alley way.

Yes, I do mean a few seconds.

Because,it was only a few seconds before I went crashing down on the freshly laid gravel in my neighbor's driveway. 

The stinging pain I felt will always stay embedded in my mind. I remember getting up, tears streaming down my face, picking up my bike, and walking back into the yard. I wasn't crying because I was in pain, I was crying because I hadn't of succeeded in making it all the way down the alley and back. I was so determined. In fact, I almost just turned around and was going to make a second attempt but, my sister Melissa saw that I was all scraped up. She told me to go up to the house and have my aunt take care of the scrapes. 

Cue the hysterical crying because I started crying like it was the end of the world. I hated peroxide at that age. It was my enemy. 

I'll spare you the details of cleaning up the scrapes, not to mention washing down my neighbor's gravel driveway and returning their pebbles that had lodged themselves in my skin when I fell... I'll just say that it required lots of peroxide, cotton balls, antibiotic ointment, and plenty of bandaids, with smiley faces of course.

I really don't remember when she started putting smileys on the bandaids.Maybe she started it when she realized that it made me stop crying. I hate to admit it but it worked. 

She'd make a big deal about it, and every time, the smiley was different. Sometimes, they'd just be a simple smiley, or they be more elaborate with hats,tongues sticking out or they'd have weird noses. 

It might sound cheesy but I miss when things could just be fixed with a bandaid and a pen drawn smiley face. 

Now days, just to make myself smile, I'll put smiley faces on my bandaids, to remind me of those moments. 

Here's To The Memories:Looking Back and Thinking

Over this past weekend, a friend broke down to me and told me that they were afraid of loosing me. I sat there, not knowing what to say, because I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t have an answer as to whether we’d be friends after high school, because both of us are going in two different directions.

Because of that moment, I’ve been thinking alot about memories lately and where I’m going to be after high school. I know that things are changing now but I don’t want to forget the old times, the good times and even the bad times, because they taught me life lessons that I don’t want to relearn again.

Making, keeping and loosing friends over the years, the fights, the long night talks, all the jokes and laughter I want to remember it all.

I’m so afraid that one day I’m going to forget it all and it’ll just be a distant memory. I want to remember these moments, as cliché as that may sound. These truly are some of the best times of our lives and I want to make the most of it.

So here’s to remembering the old times, the good times, the funny times and yes, even the bad times.

Change Is Inevitable

"Used To"-Daughtry

There’s a song that some of you may know and others may not know. Its called "Used To"-Daughtry. 

It make me think of the old times, with old friends that I’ve moved on from. I sometimes miss those days, even though they weren’t the best kind of friends that I could have had at the time.

Especially lately, I’ve been wanting that old friendship back but know that if I do actually make the initiative to get that friendship back, it’d be the worst mistake ever.

I guess I don’t like change.

All my life there has been change.

From moving house holds, to not really having any parents, to everything that’s happened with my cousin and my ex best friend in the past year, along with the friendship that I had with her, the changes that are now going on between  my cousin and one of my other friends.

Its crazy to think about how much has changed.

And how much still will change.

 I guess in time I’ll have to get used to it.

-Does anyone else have problems accepting things when they change?

From Here On

I got my first acceptance letter last night.
It feels crazy to even type that out.
Its like I'm thinking all the time now," Wow, I am a senior. I am graduating this year. And, I will be going to college next year."

Its crazy. All this financial aid stuff, signing up for ACTs and coming up with the money. I was thinking just a few minutes ago about what all I'm going to need for my apartment next year. I want to be out of school so bad. Yeah I'm going to miss my friends and the daily routine but I'm ready to be out of school.

I'm sick of having to get up every morning, get to school, learn stuff that I don't if I'll ever use,get the homework and then go home.
I just want it to be done and over with so that I can move out and get on with my life.
I've gone through 14 years of school.
14 whole years.

Its like,I'm ready. Ready to grow up, ready to move out. Be done with high school and just be free.

Are you ready to do the same?

Missing Those Summer Moments (A Few Things That I Learned)

I’ve been thinking a lot about the last summer that I had. All my life I’ve regretted summers, hated them, despised them. But this one was different. Just read the list of things below to see how much this past summer meant to me:

1.) Adults aren't always right, no matter what they think. You're entitled to your own opinion too.
2.) Taking risks are so worth it.

3.) Once you attach a smell to a memory, that same smell will always remind you of that person.
4.) Classic movies are entertaining.
5.) Freedom can be taken too far.

6.) Children are precious and deserve to be heard, no matter their age.
7.) Sometimes, in this generation, we all get too dependent on technology.
8.) If you want something bad enough, you'll make sure that you get it.
9.) Babysitting is an easy way to make money.
10.) Mosquito bits itch like heck.
11.) There’s another story behind every face...when hearing someone else's point of view.
12.) Alcohol can be a drug and also a luxury, as well as a "sedative"
13.) Flip phones can be a pain in the butt.
14.) Falling in love is easy to do
15.) Taking care of babies for hours can drive you (somewhat) insane.
16.) Sleeping on the floor is actually good for your back.
17.) Ice cream is addicting.
18.) Missing someone hurts like heck, when you can't even call them to let you know that you miss them.
19.) Honesty is best.
20.) Money doesn't grow on trees.... if only it did.
21.) Its takes little to make a person happy when they're in love with you.
22.) When all else fails, just ask. It doesn't hurt a thing.
23.) Growing up isn't easy.
24.) That for once, I don't feel like I have to obey by any certain rules.

I want to know, do you have an past summer memories that you think about all the time?

And Yet, It Continues...

All week long I’ve been working on so much stuff that I haven’t really had any “me time”. And the “me time” that I do get is time that should have been spent on my homework. During the week it’s all about making it from day to day with all the work that I have to keep doing. Just look at my schedule:

1^st- Choir/ Study hall: Seriously I would drop choir if it weren’t for going to Chicago this spring, it being our senior trip and all. I’m an alto, while the majority of the rest of my friends are sopranos. Yeah, not so much fun.

2^nd- College Prep: The reasons why I even have this blog. I really don’t mind this class, especially blogging and reading. It’s something that I rather enjoy

3^rd- PE: It used to be that we could opt out of this class but it’s like a law now to have PE everyday or something.

4^th- Adult Living: I pretty much just wing it in this class, do my homework from time to time (so far) and yet my grades still pretty good.

5^th- Current Events: Just like another study hall, enough said.

6^th- Creative Writing: Really it should be renamed “Newspaper” or “Journalism” because our class of 8 is in charge of the entire newspaper. Once a week we put out a newspaper online every week. So far I’ve done movie reviews for it, which, if you haven’t seen Vampires Suck or Easy A then I suggest you go see them.

7^th- Contemporary Problems: This class varies from it actually being a psychology class to it being a current events class to just another study hall. This week we did a project on creating our own psychological experiment, which was kind of fun. I did my on “Why Do We Procrastinate?” (perfect example right here!!) Its due tomorrow, and thankfully my paper is already done

8^th- Chemistry: I swear, this is seriously one of the hardest classes in the entire school. It’s completely online, however you still have to report to the class. I’ve actually been behind for about a week but finally (kind of) caught up. I took it last year and ended up failing the class so I’m hoping I can pass it this year!

Online Course-Intro to Psychology: Seriously, they say that classes only get harder, believe me they sure do once you get to college level stuff. I’m actually taking this class online through DMACC (the Ankeny campus) and man do you learn stuff. It’s interesting to learn yes but there’s SO much information that sometimes my mind just gets so mixed up…. Which is possibly the reason why I’m not doing so well in this class. I tend to procrastinate and try to attempt to learn three chapters in a week, like I did this past week and weekend, which I might add, is not wise. I’ve been telling myself that I’ll get to it all week start the next chapter and everything, stay on top of the class you know? But I still haven’t gotten to open that textbook quite yet…

And they said that you’re senior year was supposed to be easy…

It’s just been so much stuff this week; I don’t know what to think. Tomorrow’s Friday thankfully. However, my weekend plans consist of hardly any "me time".  Maybe I’ll just relax do a little homework and chill with friends this weekend, I’m not sure yet, but I do know that this homework isn’t going to wait for me.

Anybody else share the same feelings, of having a stressful senior year?

Or, maybe you were smart and made your senior year easy?

In my College Prep class, we're required to write blogs about a "college bound book" and I chose to read The Scarlet Letter. We're entitled to do a blog every few weeks on the book that we're reading so for the first blog, I will be discussing the introduction. Feel free to leave comments if you wish, or to let me know if you also have read or are currently reading the same book as me.


The Introduction: The Custom House

The introduction starts out with a nameless narrator, who connects in a few ways with the book’s author and takes the position of “chief executive officer” of the Salem Custom House. The narrator finds the place to be run down and shabby, positioned on a roofing harbor in a half –finished building. Most of the fellow workers of this customhouse hold a lifetime commitment to their work, which are secured by family connections. Keep in mind that these are elderly people and will often repeat the same stories over and over. The narrator describes them as “incompetent and innocuously corrupt”.

The narrator amuses himself daily by finding things to do since not many boats come to the Salem Custom House. On one rainy afternoon, he discovered some papers on the second floor of the building, which is unoccupied. Looking through the papers he finds he notices a manuscript that is bundled with a scarlet, gold-embroidered piece of cloth in the shape of the letter “A.” He examines it closely, holds it briefly to his chest, but he drops it because it seems to burn him. 

He then proceeds to read the manuscript and notices that it is the work of Jonathan Pue, who was a custom surveyor one hundred years before himself.

The narrator starts to think and considers writing about the manuscript making it as real and accurate as possible but also putting his own touches within the work as well. Soon a new president is elected and the narrator looses his job. Because of loosing his job, he settles down in his parlor and starts to write the beginning of The Scarlet Letter

Analyzing

The way that the narrator views the people, makes me think that he's extremely judgmental. And I don't exactly understand why he's so secretive about his identity either. He seems ashamed of himself, like he's so afraid to be himself. Hes always thinking about what the others are doing and not what he wants to do. 
What he's doing reminds me of all the kids that you see in junior high or middle school trying  to find a way to fit in, being as fake as they need to. Its not until later that they realize that they haven't been themselves. I wonder if thats what he's doing. 

A Life Lesson:The Golden Rule

In my College Prep class, we were asked to write our personal philosophy. For the first few days, I didn't know what mine was or if I even had one. But I got to thinking. And thought about how we're always tod to treat others the way we would want to be treated.
And this is what I came up with:

A Life Lesson: Follow the Golden Rule

For 18 years I have lived and breathed. I have walked, I have learned, and I have regrettably, treated someone wrong. I have not treated them right, and I have not given them respect.

In elementary, we were always taught to follow the “golden rule”, as cliché as it may sound. “To treat others as you want to be treated” I remember countless times of being told that, and I never really listened. But I understand it now.

We all want respect, whatever age we may be. But if we weren’t to treat each other with respect, we would lose motivation as well as trust and confidence not only in ourselves but others as well. We need to treat others as we would like to be treated because it motivates people, makes them realize that they can be their absolute best that they can be.

To provide an example of such behavior,  I’ll give an example of something that I did for quite a few years at a nursing home outside of Adel where my mother stays. Every time I walked in the doors to go see my mother, there were people always around, of all ages and conditions. There used to be a few in particular people, a frail little old lady who’s name I do not remember and Tina, a woman in her 40’s with down syndrome.  

The frail old lady always talked to me when I came in and I always returned her questions, no matter how many times she had asked me them, with a smile and a heart felt answer. Just by doing this, you could tell that it brightened her day. I remember a few years after she and I had been talking, she walked up to me around Christmas time and handed me a crocheted baby doll. Even though I was too old for baby dolls anymore, I accepted the gift anyway. I’ve still kept it til this day.

Tina, the woman with down’s syndrome, was always in a depressive mood. The first few years I went to see my mother in this place, I saw Tina usually sitting in a corner pouting. I remember one day she looked so sad that I just went over and gave her a hug. She was shocked at first but then realized what I was doing and hugged me back. When I released the hug, she had the biggest smile on her face and tears were running down her cheeks. Since that day, she’s always waiting near the doors to make sure that she always got a hug from me. Just to see her smile and know that I was making a difference and giving her hope in her life, made me feel so much better about being there.

A little respect and good treatment can go a long way. It can make you feel like a better person and can even change someone’s life, inspiring them to do better.

This is my personal philosophy, whats yours?

A Little Nostalgic: My Elementary Years

I've been really nostogic lately so I'm going to make a blog, containing every year of my school education, something significant that happened in that year and/or something that I learned from it.

So here it goes:

Preschool

Preschool, kinda funny I don't even remember those days. Just from stories and projects that I have from that year. I do or well used to have a mother's day card that I never gave my mom. We were instructed to decorate the card and on the inside it had a few typed sentences: 

My mom is_____ years old.

I love her because_______. 

Love,

           ____________

It looked something like that. The only reason I really remember this incident is because my mother always used to tell me about it. You're probably wondering what the hell I'm talking about.

In the card I wrote that my mom was 87 years old, when in actuality she was only about 32 at the time. 

Hey I was only 5 at the time, how was I to know better?

Kindergarten

Van Meter Community School District

....when it was still a small district...

Now, we hardly have room anymore!

Kindergarten has its ups and downs. My father passed away in November, three months in to my first year of actual school. I had to miss my friend Tessa's birthday party in order to go to my funeral. I brought her present to school and remember having to tell her that I couldn't go to her birthday party because I had to go to my dad's funeral. I even remember what I got her too. It was a cheap coloring book, some crayons and some glittery thing. Maybe it was one of those pen things. I'm not sure. 

So I attended my dad's funeral.

Lets see, another more pleasant memory of Kindergarten.... well there was the time at recess where we (my friend Tessa and I) had found someones schedule, and pretended that it was a treasure map. We spent the entire recess hunting for a treasure that we would never find. Her and I did alot of things together. We were inseparable, until she moved away.

Something else about my Kindergarten year. The june before school started my younger cousin Skyler was born.

I'm actually not in this picture but if you see the girl in the bright

yellow shirt looking like she's going to attack something...

thats my friend Sarah:)

Her and I have been through a heck of a lot together.

First Grade

Mrs.Dawson's class, gotta love that old lady. She was the same first grade teacher for my cousin Amanda, whos 9 years older then me so Mrs. Dawson was pretty old. She more of a grandmotherly lady.Everyone loved her. 

The main thing I remember about first grade was sitting on the side lines during recess with Sarah while she sometimes cried over the warts on her hands. 

My cousin Amanda, and others at her graduation party.

Second Grade

If I remember correctly second grade was the year that my cousin Amanda graduated. It was the first graduation for all of us five kids. I remember going to her graduation, seeing her walk down the aisle and wonder what'd it be like to do that some day. 

Afterwards, we went back to the house and celebrated her graduation. We were playing volleyball and croquet in the back yard, spending time together and congratulating my cousin. Graduation was a new thing to my aunt and uncle, since Amanda was their first child. 

Third Grade

Third grade was the year of making and loosing friends. I was actually popular, a term that was practically worshiped in 3rd grade. I shared a locker that was in the class room and classes weren't so much about learning to us as students,it was more of knowing who was whos friend and etc. Thats when things started to get drama filled.

Fourth Grade

My fourth grade year, I was an active participant in Jump Rope for Heart. It also turned out that the instructor for Jump Rope for heart was Ms.Holbrook, a strange and strict teacher. I never cared much for her, since she always scared me. 

Fifth Grade

Fith grade was fifth grade, it was just another year in school. However we were starting to get to the "time to grow up" stage. Life was alright, I still didn't want to grow up though.

Sixth Grade

Sixth grade was an eventful year. We were upstairs for the first time in our entire time that we attended school. The halls were crowded and this were different. We had a schedule to go by and were expected to be responsible. 

Thats the main basis of my elementary years.

So,blogger readers of mine, do you have any memories from elementary?

If so feel free to comment below!:)

Typical Stick Figure Family?I Think Not!

I've been out of school all week from a leg infection.
And I've been thinking,alot, about what it means to be a family.
And I've realized that family doesn't have to be just your parents,you and your siblings.
It can be so much more then that.

(No, I didn't draw this, just in case any one was
wondering)

In Elementary I remember how we'd make stick figure family trees every year. We were always taught that our family was our parents, ourselves, siblings (if we had any) and somehow we always got to put our pets in our family trees.
Its kinda seems a little cliché how they always taught family to be "perfect" like that, because I know that I never grew up like that.

I was always a little different from everyone else's families. I didn't have the typical mom and dad, so that when it came time to make mother's day present in art class as we usually did, it was always a little awkward. The family that I grew up in never went on vacations together, because there was no money to go on vacation with.
My family consisted of 4 other "siblings" (my two half sisters, and two of my cousins), and then my aunt and uncle. We lived together in a two story, 3 bedroom house. All seven of us.

Literal picture from this weekend. I think I was actually in
the hospital for about two hours.

But after being rushed to the Emergency Room this weekend I realized who my real family is.
Its not necessarily the "parents" who raised me to be the person I am today. Because in the time of need, they weren't there.
My real family, the ones who seem to care about me most, are the ones who were there for me this past weekend,because without them, I never would of made it through.

I'm Gonna Miss This

I've waited for my senior year forever. 6 years to be exact. And now that its finally here, I don't know what to think. It like,"Wow, all of those years of being in school, is going to be over in a matter of months."
So,by May of 2010, I'm going to have to complete my senior year, graduate and move out. But heres the thing, I'm not ready to graduate. I don't want to graduate,least just not yet.

These past few days, I've been thinking alot about past memories, all the friends that have come and gone, those times in elementary. I realize how much I've taken for granted, how much I've just let pass me by. I was in PE yesterday and saw the younger kids at recess and got to thinking:
How many times do we as kids, are begging for time to hurry up, so that we can be 'just like the big kids'? And then when you hear adults talk they're always saying that they would go back and do it all over again. It actually reminds me of the song, "You're Gonna Miss This" by Trace Adkins. Because just like the song says, I am going to miss these years.

I've been told to make the best of this year, since its my last year of highschool. And thats what I plan on doing.